The Upside of Stress Summary (Kelly McGonigal)

Q: Who's the author of The Upside of Stress?

The author, Kelly McGonigal , is a psychologist at Stanford University. She's a leader in 'science help,' which means she uses research in psychology, neuroscience, and medicine to help in our everyday lives. Kelly McGonigal is also known for writing the international bestseller, "The Willpower Instinct."

What you'll learn:

The Upside of Stress Summary

👇 The Upside of Stress video summary 👇

What’s the story of The Upside of Stress?

“The Upside of Stress” talks about how our attitudes affect how we handle stress.

It goes into the details of how our bodies and minds react to stress and shows us different ways to see how stress can actually make us grow.

Who’s the author of The Upside of Stress?

The author, Kelly McGonigal, is a psychologist at Stanford University.

She’s a leader in ‘science help,’ which means she uses research in psychology, neuroscience, and medicine to help in our everyday lives.

Kelly McGonigal is also known for writing the international bestseller, “The Willpower Instinct.”

Who’s The Upside of Stress summary for?

Anyone fascinated by the dynamics of health, happiness, and personal development.

And for those wishing to learn how to maximize their power to their greatest benefit.

Why read The Upside of Stress summary?

Ever feel like there’s just too much to handle—deadlines, problems, traffic, bills?

Stress seems to be everywhere in our modern lives, from the moment we wake up until we hit the hay.

But, what if, surprisingly, this fast-paced life is doing us some good?
We often view stress as a bad thing, but there’s another side to the story.

Throughout history, it appears that our bodies have developed clever ways to deal with stress, ways that are more intricate and smart than we might think.

In fact, stress might be more than just manageable—it could be a key to making us stronger and healthier.

In this summary, you’ll learn:

– Why having a positive attitude towards stress can boost your lifespan even more than exercise can.
– How something as simple as holding hands can lessen the impact of stressful situations.
– Why retired individuals might face an increased risk of depression.

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The Upside of Stress Lessons

What?	How?
Stress is not as harmful as you might think	Challenge the belief that all stress is harmful. Recognize that your attitude towards stress influences its impact.
Use stress to engage, connect, and grow	Explore different stress responses, like the tend-and-befriend approach. See stress as an opportunity for personal and social development.
Happy lives contain stress	Understand that stress is often a part of a fulfilling life. Embrace stress as a contributor to personal growth and positive change.
See stress as a normal part of life	Shift your mindset towards stress. View it as a natural and manageable aspect of life rather than an overwhelming burden.
Embrace stress to perform better	Channel anxiety into positive energy. Change your mindset by repeating positive affirmations to enhance performance during stressful situations.
Empathy can turn fear into hope	Foster authentic connections with others during stressful times. Understand the power of social support in transforming fear into hope.
Stress can only make you stronger	Recognize the strength-building aspect of stress. Reflect on past stressful experiences as opportunities for growth and resilience.

1️⃣ Stress is not as harmful as you might think

We’ve all been told time and again that stress is bad for our health, often linked to various illnesses. But, what if there’s a twist in the tale?

Let’s break it down: stress is essentially a reaction when something you care about is on the line. It could be frustration over traffic or grief over losing a loved one.

In a 2006 study in the US, it was found that high stress levels increased the risk of death by 43 percent, but only in those who believed stress was harmful.

Surprisingly, those reporting high stress levels but didn’t view it as harmful had the lowest risk of death. This points to a crucial insight: stress is harmful when you believe it is.

Consider this: a study at Yale University revealed that those with a positive outlook on old age lived 7.6 years longer. That’s a significant boost, even more than the extra four years gained by exercising and not smoking!

Positivity is a powerful belief that can influence your body’s health. These beliefs are like mindsets, superior to preferences or learned facts. Shaped by your understanding of the world, mindsets impact how you think, act, and feel.

Your attitude toward stress is a key part of your mindset, shaping your choices in everyday life. If you see stress as harmful, you’re likely to avoid it. Conversely, those who see stress as helpful are more likely to tackle its sources, seek assistance, and make the best of the situation.

Are you someone who faces stress head-on? Chances are you’ll feel more confident in handling life’s challenges.

The belief that stress is helpful becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. And if stress makes you want to escape? No worries! The following insights will guide you in shifting your mindset.

Onwards.

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2️⃣ Use stress to engage, connect and grow

In the late 1990s, a hospital in Akron, Ohio, conducted a fascinating experiment on survivors of traffic accidents. They found a surprising link between stress hormones and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

The survivors who had higher levels of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline in their urine didn’t develop PTSD, while those with lower levels did. This discovery hinted that stress could lead to better long-term recovery, even after traumatic events.

Contrary to common belief, stress isn’t solely about fight-or-flight responses. In today’s world, we can’t run away from every disagreement or engage in office fistfights during tight deadlines.

The fight-or-flight response remains valuable in life-threatening situations, but modern life requires a more nuanced approach to stress.

Enter the challenge response, a positive stress reaction. Similar to fight-or-flight but adapted for non-survival threats, it releases cortisol and adrenaline, fostering self-confidence and motivation to learn from tough experiences.

Another positive stress response is tend-and-befriend, where we seek support from close friends or loved ones, triggering the release of oxytocin, known as the love molecule. Oxytocin encourages connection through caring social relationships.

These positive stress responses not only help us deal with stress in the moment but also leave a lasting impact on our brains, akin to a vaccine.

They teach our bodies and minds how to handle similar stress in the future, making us better at coping in the long run. So, stress isn’t just a villain; it can be a catalyst for personal growth and resilience.

Next.

3️⃣ Happy lives contain stress

It might sound surprising, but let’s dive into this. In 2005 and 2006, researchers surveyed over 125,000 people aged 15 and above across various countries, asking if they had experienced a lot of stress the day before.

About a third of each country’s population, on average, reported experiencing stress. The Philippines had the highest percentage at 67 percent, with the US not far behind at 43 percent.

Interestingly, nations with higher stress levels also tended to have a higher GDP, longer life expectancy, and better quality of living. On the flip side, countries with low stress levels, like Mauritania, faced issues such as corruption, poverty, hunger, or violence.

This leads to what the author terms the stress paradox: happy lives include stress, and stress-free lives don’t necessarily guarantee happiness. Why is this? Perhaps because a meaningful life often comes with stress.

A 2013 study from Stanford and Florida State University found that people who had experienced more stressful events in their past were more likely to find their lives meaningful.

Think about it – the roles we play and the responsibilities we have in our jobs, as parents, and in our relationships often contribute to our sense of purpose. The activities that feel the most meaningful are often the ones causing the most stress.

Recent surveys in the UK and Canada supported this idea. In the UK, 34 percent of adults said having a baby was the most stressful experience, and in Canada, 62 percent considered their careers their biggest stress source.

Research also suggests that lives with less stress might lack happiness. Humans tend to be happier when they’re busy, which could explain why retirement, a time with less to do than usual, increases the risk of depression by up to 40 percent.

Moving on.

4️⃣ See stress as a normal part of life

In a world filled with countless articles, radio talks, and editorials on stress, it appears to be one of the biggest challenges of our time. Almost everyone we know struggles with it.

Yet, there are those individuals who seem to effortlessly navigate through life. We all have that one person in our lives. What sets them apart? It’s all about how they perceive stress.

Your resilient coworker, neighbor, or friend can handle stress more effectively because they view it as a normal part of life. And it is!

Without stress, we’d miss out on many opportunities for growth and learning. Embracing stress as a normal aspect also prevents us from seeing every challenge as a catastrophe.

These resilient individuals understand that no matter how stressful things are, life continues. They make choices to either change the situation or adapt themselves. Where does their strength come from? Interestingly, it often develops from facing hardships in the past.

Take the example of child soldiers observed in Sierra Leone by Theresa Betancourt, Associate Professor of Child Health and Human Rights at the Harvard School of Public Health.

Despite enduring unimaginable hardships such as being used as human shields or forced into violent acts, these individuals showed remarkable resilience. Why?

Their past experiences of extreme stress provided them with a broader perspective when dealing with everyday problems. Many even aspired to become doctors, journalists, and teachers. In extraordinary cases, previous encounters with stress can instill strength and a positive outlook.

Next.

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5️⃣ Embrace stress to perform better

Ever find yourself so nervous that your palms start sweating or your heart races? It’s a clear sign of anxiety, and often we criticize ourselves for letting stress take over. But, is this the right approach?

Not always. Embracing anxiety can actually enhance our performance—it’s all about how you handle it. Harvard Business School professor Alison Wood Brooks conducted an interesting experiment.

Students about to give a speech were told to say “I am calm” to themselves, while another group was instructed to say “I am excited.”

The result? The second group felt more confident, handled pressure better, and were rated as more persuasive and competent speakers. Just by shifting their mindset, they turned anxiety into an energy that significantly improved their performance.

Repeating positive mantras like “I am excited” is a great way to turn stress into strength. Embracing anxiety itself is another strategy for shifting your mindset, and it’s an important one. Why? Avoiding anxiety can lead to a cycle of anxiety avoidance.

The author, for instance, was terrified of flying and decided never to board a plane to avoid the anxiety. However, this avoidance allowed anxiety to control her.

Eventually, she realized that missing out on seeing family or exploring new places wasn’t worth it. So, she faced her anxiety, still getting nervous on planes but understanding that the experiences were worth it.

Next.

6️⃣ Empathy can turn fear into hope

Stress isn’t just a hurdle we have to overcome; it’s also a tool that can help us become more caring, cooperative, and compassionate. So, why not embrace it?

Remember the tend-and-befriend response we discussed earlier? It gives us a chance to practice being social, brave, and people-smart. How?

Firstly, it activates the social caregiving system by releasing oxytocin while inhibiting the fear centers of the brain. This leads to increased empathy, connection, and trust among people.

At the same time, the release of dopamine triggers the reward system, making us feel confident and optimistic about our abilities, boosting motivation while reducing fear.

Finally, the attunement system is activated by the neurotransmitter serotonin, enhancing perception, intuition, and self-control, making it easier to determine the best course of action for optimal results.

That’s quite a bit of biology, but the key takeaway is that you trigger the tend-and-befriend response every time you choose to help others. Even simple acts, like squeezing your partner’s hand during a scary movie, can turn fear into hope.

A UCLA study demonstrated this effectively. Participants were told that their loved ones would experience painful electric shocks and were given two coping strategies: squeezing a stress ball or holding a loved one’s hand.

Holding hands increased activity in the brain’s reward and caregiving centers while decreasing activity in the amygdala, responsible for fear and avoidance.

On the other hand, the stress ball had no impact on the amygdala, highlighting that most avoidance strategies don’t effectively alleviate distress or anxiety. Connecting with others during stress is scientifically proven as an effective way to respond to stress.

Moving on.

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7️⃣ Stress can only make you stronger

Recall a time in your life that led to positive changes, newfound purpose, or significant personal growth. Chances are, these times followed periods of intense stress. That’s the paradox of stress! While it can be frustrating, it makes a lot of sense.

The notion that what doesn’t break us makes us stronger is age-old, found in teachings of religions and philosophies throughout history.

In a study, 82 percent of respondents, when asked how they cope with stress, pointed to previous stressful experiences as sources of strength. In simple terms, adversity helps us learn and grow.

Living a sheltered life may do more harm than good. Psychologist Mark Seery discovered that individuals unfamiliar with adversity were the least resilient to it.

In a study where participants had to dunk their hands in ice-cold water, those unfamiliar with adversity found it the most painful and unpleasant, quickly taking their hands out. Their thoughts reflected a belief that “they couldn’t stand it,” which only heightened their distress.

Even if you’re facing a situation much more stressful than an ice-cold water dunk, remember that your attitude toward stress shapes outcomes and future challenges.

Men who find an upside to their first heart attack, like a chance to change priorities, show a greater appreciation for life. Additionally, those with better family relationships are less likely to suffer another heart attack.

The reality is, recognizing the upside dramatically improves coping abilities. Instead of relying on ineffective avoidance strategies, those who see the positive side take proactive steps to deal with stress.

Their bodies even show a healthier physical response: faster recovery times and a reduced risk of depression, heart attacks, and diseases.

The Upside of Stress Review

The key takeaway from “The Upside of Stress” is that stress isn’t always detrimental; in fact, it can be a catalyst for learning and personal growth.

By approaching stress as an opportunity for development and understanding its positive aspects, we can deepen relationships, boost confidence, and enhance resilience.

The book suggests that our biological responses to stress, when harnessed positively, can lead to meaningful transformations in our lives.

Learn from stress today to build resilience for tomorrow.

When faced with a stressful situation, instead of seeing it solely as a challenge, consider how it can benefit you. Ask yourself: How can this stress be turned into something positive?

By embracing stress as a learning opportunity, you not only navigate the current situation more effectively but also equip yourself to handle future stressors with increased resilience.

The Upside of Stress Quotes

Kelly McGonigal Quotes
“Stress happens when something you care about is at stake. It’s not a sign to run away – it’s a sign to step forward.”
“Feeling burdened rather than uplifted by everyday duties is more a mindset than a measure of what is going on in your life.”
“Everyone has an Everest. Whether it’s a climb you chose, or a circumstance you find yourself in, you’re in the middle of an important journey. Can you imagine a climber scaling the wall of ice at Everest’s Lhotse Face and saying, “This is such a hassle”? Or spending the first night in the mountain’s “death zone” and thinking, “I don’t need this stress”? The climber knows the context of his stress. It has personal meaning to him; he has chosen it. You are most liable to feel like a victim of the stress in your life when you forget the context the stress is unfolding in. “Just another cold, dark night on the side of Everest” is a way to remember the paradox of stress. The most meaningful challenges in your life will come with a few dark nights. The biggest problem with trying to avoid stress is how it changes the way we view our lives, and ourselves. Anything in life that causes stress starts to look like a problem. If you experience stress at work, you think there’s something wrong with your job. If you experience stress in your marriage, you think there’s something wrong with your relationship. If you experience stress as a parent, you think there’s something wrong with your parenting (or your kids). If trying to make a change is stressful, you think there’s something wrong with your goal. When you think life should be less stressful, feeling stressed can also seem like a sign that you are inadequate: If you were strong enough, smart enough, or good enough, then you wouldn’t be stressed. Stress becomes a sign of personal failure rather than evidence that you are human. This kind of thinking explains, in part, why viewing stress as harmful increases the risk of depression. When you’re in this mindset, you’re more likely to feel overwhelmed and hopeless. Choosing to see the connection between stress and meaning can free you from the nagging sense that there is something wrong with your life or that you are inadequate to the challenges you face. Even if not every frustrating moment feels full of purpose, stress and meaning are inextricably connected in the larger context of your life. When you take this view, life doesn’t become less stressful, but it can become more meaningful.”
“Mindset 1: Stress Is Harmful. Experiencing stress depletes my health and vitality. Experiencing stress debilitates my performance and productivity. Experiencing stress inhibits my learning and growth. The effects of stress are negative and should be avoided. Mindset 2: Stress Is Enhancing. Experiencing stress enhances my performance and productivity. Experiencing stress improves my health and vitality. Experiencing stress facilitates my learning and growth. The effects of stress are positive and should be utilized.”
“you choose to help others, you activate this state. Caring for others triggers the biology of courage and creates hope.”
“Stress is what arises when something you care about is at stake.”
“Stress and meaning are inextricably linked. You don’t stress out about things you don’t care about, and you can’t create a meaningful life without experiencing some stress.”
“Stress Helps You Learn and Grow”
“It turns out that how you think about stress is also one of those core beliefs that can affect your health, happiness, and success. As we’ll see, your stress mindset shapes everything from the emotions you feel during a stressful situation to the way you cope with stressful events. That, in turn, can determine whether you thrive under stress or end up burned out and depressed. The good news is, even if you are firmly convinced that stress is harmful, you can still cultivate a mindset that helps you thrive.”
“The stress response is more than a basic survival instinct. It is built into how humans operate, how we relate to one another, and how we navigate our place in the world. When you understand this, the stress response is no longer something to be feared.”
“Even in circumstances of great suffering, human beings have a natural capacity to find hope, exert choice, and make meaning. This is why in our own lives, the most common effects of stress include strength, growth, and resilience.”
“It turns out that people with a stress-is-enhancing mindset are more likely to be optimists, but the correlation is small. In addition to optimism, two other personality traits seem to be associated with a more positive view of stress: mindfulness and the ability to tolerate uncertainty.”
“They were also taught a three-step process for practicing the new mindset whenever they felt stressed. The first step is to acknowledge stress when you experience it. Simply allow yourself to notice the stress, including how it affects your body. The second step is to welcome the stress by recognizing that it’s a response to something you care about. Can you connect to the positive motivation behind the stress? What is at stake here, and why does it matter to you? The third step is to make use of the energy that stress gives you, instead of wasting that energy trying to manage your stress. What can you do right now that reflects your goals and values?”
“Stress may be a natural byproduct of pursuing difficult but important goals, but that doesn’t mean every stressful moment is rich in meaning. And yet even when the stress we’re under doesn’t seem inherently meaningful, it can trigger the desire to find meaning—if not in this moment, then in the broader context of our lives.”
“I think this is one of the most promising aspects of mindset science. Once an idea takes root, you don’t have to work so hard at it. It’s not a conscious strategy you need to employ or an inner debate you need to have every day. After an initial introduction to a new mindset, it can take hold and flourish.”

7 Health Lessons From “The Upside of Stress”

The Upside of Stress Summary

What’s the story of The Upside of Stress?

Who’s the author of The Upside of Stress?

Who’s The Upside of Stress summary for?

Why read The Upside of Stress summary?

The Upside of Stress Lessons

1️⃣ Stress is not as harmful as you might think

2️⃣ Use stress to engage, connect and grow

3️⃣ Happy lives contain stress

4️⃣ See stress as a normal part of life

5️⃣ Embrace stress to perform better

6️⃣ Empathy can turn fear into hope

7️⃣ Stress can only make you stronger

The Upside of Stress Review

The Upside of Stress Quotes